I used to communicate the Church's teaching on human sexuality to teenagers from a position of fear. I find that most adults do this when talking about sex to teens. They don't do this with any other Church teaching. They don't use scare tactics when talking about the Eucharist, or even Hell for that matter (if it is ever taught). When sexuality is involved, though, the fear comes out in full force.
The fear that I am talking about is not nervousness while dealing with a sensitive subject. My dad had that kind of fear when he told me and my older brother about the birds and the bees. He was terrified. He used the technical terms for things that were completely over my head. I would just stare at my brother's face and when his smile turned to utter disgust, I would just mimic the same expressions. "Ewww that's gross!" my brother would say. "Yeah, umm, gross!" I would quickly second. The best part? He gave us the talk by putting us in the back seat of the car as he addressed us through the rear view mirror.
I was two years into my parish-based youth ministry job when we decided to do a middle school (EDGE) night on pornography. We would talk about it from a positive and life-affirming view of human sexuality. We split the guys and girls up so that we could talk more freely.
I took an anonymous poll with these 85 seventh and eighth grade boys. Out of 85 boys, 83 had seen porn at some point in their lives; 78 had seen it in the last 2 months; 76 in the last 2 weeks; and around 71 out of 85 had seen porn in the last 2 days. Talk about a train wreck!
Pubescent drives are intensely powerful, but they do not have to define us. The sins of lust are probably the most difficult to break once a habit has been established. Some young men progress from occasional use to habit to addiction to full-on compulsive behavior. My hope is to break the habit. Addictive and compulsive behaviors are way above my pay grade. But always remember the words of Pope John Paul II: "You are not the sum of your weaknesses and failures, but rather, you are the sum of the Father's love..."